How to Take Care of New Moms
I can hardly believe that my baby is already over one year old. It is true what they say, the days are long, but the years go fast! And in those early weeks, the days truly were so very long 🙏🏻. I have been reflecting on just how vulnerable I felt during postpartum and how the simplest of acts of care & support from others went such a long way. Before I became a mom, I never truly knew how intense this period would feel.
When it comes to supporting new moms, we don’t need to go overboard. We all live very busy lives and, of course, need to be mindful of our own capacity, but truly just one simple act of kindness can go such a long way. 💖
This kindness can have a meaningful impact in the way a new mom is able to regulate & soften as she navigates early motherhood, knowing she is supported and worthy of support.
In turn, this can help the whole family and impact future generations ☺️.
In this blog post, you will find tangible and practical ideas for supporting new moms, ranging from freezer-friendly recipes, links to cozy robes, ways to support their household, communication etiquette with new moms, and more!
The intention is for this to be a guide for families and friends who want to help, and to give new moms some suggestions about how to respond when help is offered.
More often than not, a woman’s journey is not straightforward. Women that go through infertility and pregnancy loss deserve all of this support, attention and care, if not more.. And while these ideas of support can apply to them, the nuances of their experience might need extra consideration. 💖
Food & Nourishment
You can’t go wrong with giving new moms and their families the gift of nourishment in the form of food. Below are some ideas if you feel like making something homemade and possibly freezer-friendly, or some websites of brands that have great food you can send to a new mom, especially if you do not live close by. Of course, your own go-to cookie recipe or your go-to soup recipe is always a great option too.
P.S. remember to double check for any food allergies in the home!!
For those that live near a new mom ~
I love this hearty sausage, kale & white bean soup!
This crockpot white bean chicken chili is a classic and goes so well with some cornbread!
These freezer breakfast sandwiches are surprisingly easy to make. Don’t forget to share directions for how to properly thaw & reheat!
Homemade yogurt parfaits with honey, granola and berries (having grab-and-go breakfast and snack options are so key in those early weeks!)
No-bake peanut butter lactation balls! These are great snacks to have and you can always forgo the flax seeds and brewer’s yeast if the recipe feels too overwhelming and you want to keep it to the basics!
Tip: Rounding out a meal can be such a nice touch. For example, if you are making soup, consider adding a baguette, some brownies and a small bouquet of flowers :)
For those that live far from a new mom ~
Miracle Mama cookies are so yummy and truly believe they helped support my milk supply a bit in the beginning!
Restorative Roots - an amazing postpartum meal delivery service
The Milk Market - delicious gluten-free baked good mixes & postpartum teas!
Wildgrain - Bread, pasta & pastry delivery. It is so fun to pick and choose what you want! I recommend the croissants!
Clothing & Items Just for Mom
Sometimes moms need just something for themselves. Birth is truly a transformative experience. Sleepless nights can leave moms feeling disoriented. Hormones are going all over the place. Some items just for Mom can really brighten her day and remind her that her well-being is important as well! Here are a few ideas to show a new mom in your life some support:
Robes or open sweaters that are easy for breastfeeding are amazing. Even if moms already have these things, to have one that is special for this time in her life can feel special. I love brands like Lake (especially this Kimono set) and Weezie (for a nice after shower robe!). Target and Costco have some great cozy options as well - doesn’t need to be fancy to make an impact!
I was gifted a set of Ayurveda oils and cream that smelled so nice. Showering was a treat and in the beginning it felt like one of the few moments I had to myself. Using these special oils made me feel so good! Moisturizing creams, oils, skincare are typically always welcomed by new moms!!
I am not quite sure how much reading new moms are doing, but for me, I wanted to be mindful of how much time I spent scrolling on my phone, and a good book or some time reading with my Kindle proved to be a nice change of pace. Fun magazines would be a great option, too!! I love these beautiful books of poetry about the raw feelings that come up in early motherhood: Beautiful Chaos by Jessica Urlichs and Made of Rivers by Emory Hall.
Flowers or plants are joyful. Something easy to manage to add brightness to the household :)
Epsom salts are genuinely healing. This is my favorite brand and you can pair with some essential oils!
Slippers are always a great idea! I’m loving these from Bombas.
The gift of a massage or spa day is very generous and something moms can use at their convenience when they feel they can take an hour or so for themselves.
I gifted myself a bracelet with my son’s name on it and I wear it every day. I think any new mom would love this gift!
A light-blocking mask to help make those random mid-day naps a little easier. I love this one from Bon Charge!
Family, Home & Other Support
We know that moms typically carry a big mental load, so caring for her often means considering her mental load. If she has other children at home, is there a way you could help support them? Where does she live and what household tasks could she be thinking about that you could help take off her plate? You might have some of your own ideas based on the situation of your new mom, but here are a few ideas:
Creating some toddler bins & activities for littles at home. Here are some great ideas!
Consider “toy sharing” if you have littles too. Bring a few of your household favorites over for the kids to play with!
Offer to have their kids to your house for playdate
Take cars for a wash and fill them up with gas
Offer to drive them to pediatrician appointments
Run errands with new mom and baby
Pick up and drop off some basics, like diapers, wipes, creams, paper towels, etc.
Grocery shopping for staples like fruit, sandwich supplies, and healthy snacks!
Communication & Timing Tips
It’s hard to know what to say or how to say it to a new mom. Personally, I wasn’t always in the mood to communicate and just wanted to be in my bubble, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want or need periodic check-ins or that I didn’t appreciate people swinging by to drop things off, at least in the beginning. And one thing to keep in mind is that while help is so appreciated in those first few days and weeks after the baby, new moms still need help in the months that follow. Here are some suggestions for ways to simply “check in” on new moms to see how they are doing, how to communicate about things like dropping off food, and how to navigate potential visits in the beginning!
Text messages to check in on Moms directly:
“Tell me about your baby!”
“Checking in on you mama, how are you doing?”
“How are day and nighttime rhythms going?”
“You are doing such important work. Every feeding session, every time you are up rocking with him/her, you are laying such a beautiful foundation for their nervous system.”
“I see how attentive you are to your baby. He/she is so lucky.”
“Your baby is so loved! How are you doing mama?”
(If you are a mom yourself and a new mom is opening up to you, be vulnerable and share some of the hard parts of your experience, even if it’s not fully the same. No need to go too far in depth or make it about you, but whenever a fellow mom shared with me something challenging or unexpected that they experienced, it made me feel way less alone and crazy.)
Text messages to coordinate logistics (considering texting the partner instead of the mom):
I’m heading to Walgreens, what brand of diapers/wipes or creams do you use?
We are making dinner for you and your family, what is the best day and time to drop off at your front door?
When is your next pediatrician appointment? I’d be happy to give you a hand and drive you!
Tips on what do you when you go to visit the baby or family:
First, wait to be invited to visit, don’t pressure
Wash your hands
Bring something for other kids to do
Don’t ask to hold the baby, wait for the family to offer
Always bring food! Bonus points for bringing disposable plates and silverware!
Clean up after yourselves, check on dishwasher & any laundry that might need folding :)
If you are bringing clothes for the baby, consider washing them in baby safe detergent beforehand (if you have it)
Also, when you are invited for a visit, Cameron Oaks Rogers (@cameronoaksrogers) outlined some great ideas on what you could say:
I hope this guide is helpful for friends and family who want to show up for new moms. Remember, just one small act goes a long way. Moms really do need the support and your help genuinely makes an impact!
Warmly,
Caroline
