My Pregnancy Journey ~ Postpartum
Postpartum is a unique journey. I understand that individual circumstances, desires, resources, baby temperament and mental health history all contribute to a distinct postpartum experience. Therefore, I can't write this blog suggesting how you might feel or what you should or shouldn't do. I can only share my own perspective. In this post, you'll read about my personal experience—the feelings that emerged, how I felt prepared, where I felt unprepared, and some things I wish I had considered more before entering this time.
My hope is that my reflection on the first few months as a first time postpartum mom can offer you something—whether it's simply a connection to my story or practical insights for your own preparation. Additionally, these blog posts primarily focus on how I cared (or could have cared better) for my mind, body, and spirit from preconception through postpartum. While baby products and baby care tips are important and can affect the postpartum experience, they aren't the main topic here. The mother is at the center of this discussion. You can explore my ShopMy account for a few postpartum and baby-related products I will be linking. Throughout this post, I will also list and link items that I found useful.
Food & Nourishment
Food prep was truly key for me. I made & froze balanced egg cups, muffins, and a couple of hearty soups, and we ate them all within the first week. I also made banana lactation muffins using a mix from Restorative Roots. I wish I had splurged on one of the Restorative Roots packages, which offers frozen meals specifically tailored for postpartum moms but are also suitable for the whole household. Looking back, we spent quite a bit on food delivery and takeout, so investing in nourishing, ayurvedic frozen meals upfront would have been incredibly helpful. I was happy to have prepared a few things, but I wish I had made even more, like protein balls and a few more frozen dinner meals. I also wish that during those first few weeks, I hadn't felt the need to cook or bake at all. It's tricky because I genuinely love doing those things, and I know that preparing a meal was often soothing for me during that time. However, I wish I had truly given myself the grace and the expectation that I wouldn't be making anything. Having people bring meals and do grocery shopping was also incredibly helpful and generous; I'm so glad and grateful that I had people in my life who were not only willing to help but that I was open to receiving all the help. I did my best to be mindful of eating warm foods and plenty of protein and meat due to blood loss and other factors. I read "The First 40 Days" when I was pregnant, which helped me develop a good mindset around food and nourishment, though I didn't follow it wholeheartedly or make any of the recipes. I don't see why I couldn't have, though!
After those first couple of crazy weeks passed, as a breastfeeding mom, I continued to enjoy delicious cookies from Miracle Milkookies (these were originally gifted to me, and I kept ordering more!). Eventually, I started making my own lactation cookies and lactation balls, which was a lot of fun! They felt like they served a dual purpose: satisfying my sweet cravings and (maybe) helping with my milk supply. I also drank Mother’s Milk tea quite a bit. Whether it worked or not, I don't know, but it was certainly soothing.
And finally, hydration! We all know how important hydration is, but especially during postpartum. Birth, no matter how it happens, is a huge deal. It takes a LOT out of you and your body, and I definitely needed to hydrate. When breastfeeding, I was unbelievably thirsty. I continued to drink LMNT throughout this time. It's expensive, but it felt truly supportive and genuinely worth it to me.
Rest & Movement
Depending on your pregnancy, labor, and family life, your relationship with both rest and movement will look different. I can imagine that rest and movement as a second-time mom would be different than the first! Everyone has a unique set of circumstances, so if I were to offer any advice, it would be to be honest about your own and truly try your best not to compare yourself to others. This was very hard for me. I was good at giving myself grace for the first 6 weeks (maybe 12 if I'm being generous), but after that, I felt pressure to feel or 'look better' than I did. Everyone says this, but I truly, truly wish I had given myself a little more grace. While super early postpartum was incredibly challenging, it was easy in a way—nobody expects anything from you—but once a few months passed, I felt a wave of... wait... am I supposed to go back to life now?
I'm going to break down what rest and movement looked like in those first 2 months, and then what it looked /is looking like 2+ months later.
Months 0-2
Rest, recover, and nurture your baby. That's it. (I truly felt this way and was lucky to have support to do this, but I wish it had been reflected back to me even more.)
Epsom salt baths were a great way for me to have a moment to myself and calm my nervous system.
Get outside. Every day or twice a day if you can. This always helps, even if it's just for 5 minutes.
I used a donut pillow and a peri bottle. I wish I had used Arnica for cramps.
Someone gifted me Ayurveda cleansers and lotions, which was such a nice gift to receive as a new mom for those precious showers 🙂
After 6 weeks, when I was cleared to work out, I wish I had only focused on pelvic floor rehab and walking for another few weeks before even attempting to do anything at the gym. I ran on the treadmill at 6 weeks postpartum and felt it set me back!
ChatGPT is great at giving pelvic floor / yoga related workouts or exercises once you are cleared!
Treat yourself to new and fresh sweats and pajamas just for postpartum!
Also treat yourself to new workout clothes (if you haven't already during pregnancy!).
I loved using my heating pad like this one for cramps and on my low back or anywhere.
Months 2+
Remember you are still postpartum.
It helped to see any kind of movement as a win. I started to return to previous habits or set new movement habits that feel sustainable and attainable (I'm talking 10-15 minutes).
I finally started to focus on sleep like it was a sport. I wish I had tried to take more naps! This blackout sleep mask from Bon Charge is amazing.
I focused even more on my nervous system—I recognised that stress impacted both my experience of my body and my body's ability to recover. I felt like I was doing all the right things and had all these great movement and food habits, but I was still stressed.
Yoga Nidras - a guided meditation that helps bring you into deep relaxation - have been really supportive for me, especially when I don't get a lot of sleep at night; they help me get some deeper rest during the day.
Other People & Social Media
As the first person to have a baby in my immediate family and one of the first to have a baby in my group of friends, this had both its positive and sometimes more difficult effects. On one hand, everyone was genuinely so excited, caring and willing to help. On the other hand, it felt like no one really was close to what I was actually experiencing in real time and sometimes I felt alone or not fully understood. Something I practiced really early on was to simply try to be super honest about how I was feeling. I would share with family members if sleep was really hard. I remember it being really difficult to even answer a text message, and I was honest with my friends about that. Some people might project their own postpartum experience onto you. Personally, I found hearing other stories mostly comforting, and I didn't necessarily judge myself one way or the other. However, be selective about what you consume or who you choose to listen to. Also, I wish I was a little bit more clear about what was really helpful and what was not, as well as honoring how vulnerable I truly felt in those first couple days and weeks. I wanted to honor close family members seeing and visiting the baby which felt good to me, but oftentimes even having a visitor over felt really overwhelming and exhausting. It’s a balance but this is where partners can really help with communication.
Also, social media / instagram is a whole new world to navigate! Sometimes it felt helpful, because sometimes reels were genuinely so relatable or funny or quite frankly educational - I learned a few tips! On the other hand, I felt the algorithm quickly got toxic. Don’t be afraid to remove Instagram from your life if you need to. Truly. I took a few breaks/pauses and genuinely felt amazing during those times. I felt more present, more connected to myself, my intuition and my baby. One item that really helped during late nights or quiet days at home was a Kindle! I loved using my kindle because I felt I could still distract and entertain myself without my phone or even a lamp on. I still use my Kindle a lot now!
I also recall comparing myself to other moms IRL or on social media that were really adventurous with their baby. Taking their baby out to places was perhaps just easier for them or simply better for their own mental health. It was really hard for me to figure out the balance of challenging myself in an appropriate way (meeting a friend for a walk) versus taking on something that was going to be too much (grocery shopping with my baby right away). Personally, taking it slow, I think, helped in the long run. Now that my baby is almost 8 months old, I feel more confident and calm taking him to new places, and I attribute that to taking things really slow in the beginning.
Trust and Love
Postpartum has been so beautiful and raw. I wouldn’t change this time for the world. I feel like, at least for me, a lot of life’s challenging experiences always brings me back to two things: trust and love. I am learning to trust myself and my instincts more than ever. I am also seeing even more clearly my own tendencies to worry and my anxiety, and I am working through that. I have also been learning to trust my baby, what he is capable of, and trusting my partner and other loved ones to help and take care of him. I have realized that the way that they relate to my baby doesn’t have to and honestly shouldn’t be the same way I relate to my baby. If there are ways that they love to do little things for him that are different from mine (as long as they are still safe) then I think it is great and ultimately good for everyone to feel confident with the baby.
Love is something that I experience deeper than ever. For my baby, Doug, my family. It was also important for me to realize and hold space for Doug to have his own experience of being a new Dad and supporting me postpartum. While he may not have felt everything I was feeling physically and hormonally, so much was changing for him too. It has been such a fun adventure finding new parts of ourselves as parents and sharing this experience together.
I think one place I am still learning to love is, well, myself! I was surprised to find my mind being so critical of my body after birth. I would ask Doug almost every day how I looked (poor guy!). I would compare myself to other people via social media or in real life who were going through postpartum and figuring out what they looked like after each month and where I fit in. Interestingly, it wasn't until I really started getting back into my mindfulness practice (once I had the time/space/capacity), as well as becoming even more aware of this critical voice and giving my body more love, that I started to look in the mirror and that love for my body was reflected back at me. It is definitely still a process, though. Because my heart and my perspective are shifting, and I have experienced emotional growth, I am having a different experience of my body. Right now, I am allowing myself to truly “be in it”—no matter what it looks like in the mirror—and feel what comes up. Self-love is so powerful. I feel like if there is one thing I would truly change out of anything in my postpartum experience it would be to really love more on myself. I am really proud that for the most part I really did my best to embrace myself in this incredibly vulnerable time of my life. I did my best to let myself sit in it, feel it, and enjoy being with my baby in all ways. But it was still hard not to compare or to feel the urge to get back to what I ‘used to look like’.
I also feel enormously grateful that I had mindfulness habits I could easily fall back on when I was ready and had the time—journaling, meditation, etc. Having these at the ready really helped my nervous system and I believe really helped to enhance my experience. I wasn't expecting to feel in fight or flight for so long, (like weeks) but I did, and I am okay with that. But if I have any message for any person out there, and a reason why I am writing this and why I even share, is because slowing down and tending to my emotional world, showing up for myself, really allows me to see the beauty in challenging times. And when I can see the beauty, I can find meaning and purpose in my life.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and wherever you may be in your pregnancy journey. Whether you are trying to conceive, recently postpartum, or just have the desire to have a pregnancy journey one day in the future, I promise that you are supported and you are loved. You got this!!
